To wake students up, I once remarked that Jesus and Mary were like most poor
Middle-Easterners (Jesus slept outside on the ground)—they probably had lice.
An ‘F’ student ran to the dean, Father Maziarz,
to denounce me as a heretic.
Maziarz responded, “Lyons is not a heretic; he’s a horse’s ass.
One reason to take theology is
so you can tell a heretic from a horse’s ass.”