INTERESTING RELATIVES

GUNS: 2 OF THE RYAN relatives faced off with guns at a southside tavern. Neither fired./ One relative was paid by one tavern to go to the tavern up the street. Then the first tavern would wait for patrons of the other one to file in./ One relative, a retired cop, an alcoholic, would wear his gun to family gatherings./

One relative went with his sisters to LasVegas.
Immediately he disappeared. As the sisters were in the returning plane, a cop car pulled up with this relative in handcuffs. He was freed and warned that he got away with it only because he was a former cop; he must never return to LasVegas.

He got on the plane, announcing,
“I want everyone here to make a perfect act of contrition !”
Then he vomited into his sister’s lap.

This was all quite a shock to Lyons, a boy from a small Iowa town.